I'm finding the waiting part of this really hard, it is like being stuck in no man's land. I have done several more home pregnancy tests - all positive - but i don't know what is wrong with me because instead of happiness all I feel is fear. Something is stopping me from believing that this could be real and I have spent the last few days convincing myself that the blood tests in two days won't be good news. Somebody slap me please!!! Things are looking GOOD here!! Why am I trying to believe the worst? Maybe it's just my defences are up since it took us so long to concieve Nickie, the disappointments along the way are still fresh in our minds so we are both trying to play it down until we have absolute certainty. I'm sure if these tests go to plan on Tuesday I will be singing a completely different tune. Hopefully!!!
Brad did his absolute best to make the weekend nice and distracting for me. Today he made me Mexican food for lunch and went and rented two movies. Nickie fell asleep and went to have his afternoon sleep just as Brad arrived with the lunch ingredients and the movies and we ate nachos on our laps in front of "Changeling" which was really good but really sad and then the movie finished and the credits started coming up and Nickie woke up right at that moment. It was a nice afternoon. The other movie he rented was "Marley and Me" and we plan to watch that one tonight after Nickie goes to bed and eat the ice cream Brad also purchased haha. Guilty pleasures huh?? Gotta love that.
Sorry this is a short one tonight I'm very tired and have a thousand thoughts swirling in my head confusing me. Lots of love to all and keep your fingers crossed.
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2 comments:
Awww, sweetie, the fears are completely understanding! I've heard from infertiles that the fear inferility creates never goes away.
Hang in there sweetie! We're all here for you.
And Marley and Me is an awesome movie. :)
Hi! I have been reading your blog for a while and I have not commented till now. I just want to tell you that I think what you are feeling is completely normal! You are right since you had trouble in the past it is hard for you to believe that things can go so well this time around! I am sure there is no reason to worry and I bet the tests you have done at home are correct you will see on Tuesday!!
Good luck can't wait to read your good news posting!
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