I'm so sorry to say...

Hi lovely friends! This is a very hard post for me to write so I am plunging into it to get it over with and I hope you will all forgive any ineloquence.

My blood tests came back yesterday and they weren't good. They were worse than a straight "no you're not pregnant". The tests I did at home were right. I am pregnant. But the HCG levels are too low and indicate without much doubt that there is a problem with the pregnancy and that it won't survive. Possibly my body has already given up on it and that is why the hormones are so low - because they are dropping. I have stopped all the Progynova and the progesterone pessaries on doctors advice and am now waiting for a pretty much inevitable miscarriage. I will go back for more blood work on Monday July 6 and they will see what is happening. If the blood work shows more of a drop in HCG (they expect it to be gone by Mon as my levels are pretty low) and yet I have not bled then they will do a scan to see if a D and C (day surgery) is called for. I asked what are the chances of a miracle and my nurse gently said to me "sweetheart, this baby won't survive". So I am guessing the chances are not really there.

I can't really talk much more than this other than to thank you all for your beautiful thoughts and prayers and friendships. I am very up in the air right now. Devastated. I am thankful that I have Nickie who needs a mother otherwise I think I would be crawling into a hole right now. I am especially sad because I really had such a bad feeling like I almost new something was up. I had no reason to think this it was just an intuition and I find that eerie. I will post more soon when things are not so fresh. thanks again for all your support.