Keeping busy

Hi all, I don't really have much to report other than the fact that I have set some projects for myself for this week. Brad and I speak regularly about the miscarriage and how each of us is coping with moving on from it. He seems to be doing really well but often I feel at a loose end. We got the idea that I would set myself a project each week - something that will make me feel happy and that I will enjoy doing. If it involves spending quality time with Nickie that is all the better as we really do want to celebrate him. As much as it is easy to feel unlucky sometimes because we lost our baby, we continually try to remind ourselves that we are blessed to have our son. We don't want to lose sight of this.

Well I seem to have taken on the task with gusto because I have set myself a few tasks to focus on this week when the "requirement" was only one. Here is what I am currently working on:

1. A Christmas in July dinner for this Sunday. This is something I have never done before and have always wanted to. My mum is Ms Practicality so growing up whenever we would suggest it she would say what a silly idea since one Christmas in December is quite enough thank you! I got the idea and thought why not! I have invited Rhea and Paul (Brad's sister and her husband for those who have forgotten) and plan to cook a roast lamb in my slow cooker and for dessert a pear and hazlenut tart. Brad's response to this was that it sounded like awesome food but that it wasn't very Christmassy. I said to him i didn't want to go full on Christmas dinner because I think that should be specially for December but that I thought this was moderately Christmassy with the roast idea and all, and that I planned to decorate and maybe get a small Xmas gift for the baby and for Nickie. What do you guys think as I am open to suggestions and changes?? By the way a small update on Rhea and Paul's baby - Rhea is now 18 weeks (19 this Friday) and the 20 week scan is approaching where at the moment they plan to find out the gender. Everything is looking great so far! Yippee!

2. A "Naming Day" celebration for Nickie. For those of you who don't know what a Naming Day is it is kind of an alternative to a christening for those who aren't religious. An explanation for this is that Brad is not a Christian or religious in any way and doesn't feel comfortable with a traditional christening. We kind of just want an excuse for everyone to get together and celebrate this little miracle boy who is in our lives. I have called the celebrant that did our wedding and booked him for October 4. We had to book that far in advance because Brad's parents are away on a trip around Australia right now and don't get back till late Sept. We plan to have a small ceremony for Nickie and then a BBQ with all our friends and family. Very informal and fun and we are going to request no presents on the invitations as we really just want everyone's company to be happy with us.

3. Baby swimming lessons for Nickie. Now that he is almost 6 months I have been looking into this as since his birth he just seems to love the water so much. I made some phone calls today and went up to the local pool and got all the forms. Now I just have to go and buy us both some swimwear, which I am dreading as it is the middle of winter here and I don't know if there is any swimwear in the stores yet, and don't forget I had Nickie 6 months ago and my body ain't so good post baby haha. Maybe boardshorts and a cute top for me rather than all that lycra haha. Then I will pick a class time from the list they sent me and go up and pay the fees and we will start. I am so excited as i think it will be great to watch him have so much fun. And how cute is this - he will be in the Shrimps group haha!

My other big milestone this week is on friday I plan to return to work. I am very nervous, not about the going to work part but about the emotions that I think will be brought up by my return to "normal life". I thought my life was taking a turn in a different direction and that we would have a second baby. I planned to maybe stop work in time and just be a full time mum to two kids. Now it is going to pick up and continue as normal like nothing ever happened and that feels weird, wrong and very sad. Has to be done sometime though and I feel the time is approaching to give it a go.

Love to all and wishing you a wonderful week.