Why does everyone assume?

It's a shame that when you get married, everyone just assumes a baby is the next thing on your list of things to check off. I realise that for a lot of people it is, but I wish people would not just assume and say things that voice these assumptions. I know that they don't mean anything by it. Even so, it is a very hard thing when you are infertile to be subjected to comments and questions and have to keep reliving your misfortune, sometimes to complete strangers too.

I visited my old place of work a couple of days ago. I used to work at a jewellery store, and now while I don't keep in regular contact with the ladies I worked with, every now and then we will catch up usually when we randomly bump into each other. The counsellor that I have been seeing since the miscarriage works out of a clinic very near the jewellery store and since I haven't caught up with any of the girls since I was pregnant with Nickie, I thought I would call in on my way home and show off my boy.

None of them know that Nickie is an IVF baby. I stopped working there a couple months after marrying Brad, well before we had any idea of any problems in the baby department. All of them know that I was very much looking forward to having kids after the wedding so I guess they just assumed that more kids would be on the menu for us. As soon as they got past cooing over Nickie and passing him around the store for cuddles, the focus shifted to me and when we were going to have another one. It absolutely broke my heart into smithereens. One of the girls looked at me holding Nickie and said "so does he make you want to have another one?" with a big knowing grin. I couldn't say what I really felt - that yes he did make me want to have another one, so much so that we tried and for a split second we succeeded until God decided it wasn't right and sent our angel to heaven. I wanted to break down and pour my heart out about what packing up Nickie's newborn size baby clothes and giving them away was doing to me. Instead I smiled and nodded my head and said I hoped to have another baby someday and that we would see what the future brought. Later that night poor Brad had a very distressed, sobbing wife to comfort. It is amazing how something so little as that can bring all that hurt up to the surface.

On a nicer note, Brad took me out on a date on Friday night. It was to a football game. Before you all laugh your heads off at the idea of that as a date, I have to explain that AFL football is a religion here in Australia. We are very passionate about supporting our teams and spend a lot of our weekends watching the games on TV. But actually going and seeing a game live is the creme de la creme. It was awesome fun because Brad's team (the Cats) played my team (the Blues) so we had been razzing each other for weeks about this upcoming match and who was going to win it. A bit of background on our teams is that the Cats have been a top side for the last couple of years. They won the Grand Final in 2007 and were runners up in 2008. They went into this season as hot favourites to win the Grand Final and they are the second top team but have been off form the last few weeks and are also plagued by some injuries in the team. As for the Blues, the last few years haven't been too impressive for us and after an improved season last year we are having a pretty solid year in 2009 and are looking at finally making the finals for the first time in a long time. The last three times the Cats have met the Blues we have been absolutely thrashed but I had a good feeling with us being on form of late, and the Cats being off.

So Brad comes home with tickets to Friday night's game, a few nights beforehand and tells me that he has organised Rhea to come and baby sit Nickie, and that he was taking me out to watch my team get creamed haha. We had the best time! Out we went in our opposing team colours and we ate hot dogs and drank beer and yelled and cheered for our players. It was an exciting match too and best of all, YAY the Blues won!!! I think the real winner of the night was me though for having such an awesome husband :) awww

Lastly before I sign off, I was really disappointed because you know the party Nickie was supposed to go to? Well it was cancelled due to the birthday boy coming down with the chicken pox the night before! Poor little man, having to be sick for his birthday I feel awful for him. Nickie and I drove down and dropped the birthday present off to his mother at the door. Apparently they are rescheduling the party for a later day so I will keep you posted.