It's Rhea's last day at work tomorrow before she begins her maternity leave. She is so very excited, it's wonderful. Her due date is Dec 11. Seeing her experience this milestone is making me reflect back on the time of my life when I was relaxing at home waiting for Nickie. I was completely sick, throwing up every second of the day, being monitored for high blood pressure, my feet were so swollen they just looked like huge pieces of meat. But you know what? I loved it! It felt serene. So peaceful and so beautiful. I think it was one of the most special times of my life.
Life kind of came to this peaceful standstill while Brad and I prepared to meet our son. We shopped together and got his room ready, we went to our birthing classes. We laid in bed many a night till early hours of the morning feeling Nickie kick us and we talked about what he might look like and who he might be and what life might be like as a family of three. Some mornings I'd get up early with Brad and we'd eat breakfast together and go for a walk and then after he'd leave for work I'd soak in the tub or curl up in bed with a good book.
Towards the very end of the pregnancy when I got quite sick with the blood pressure, Mum took me under her wing and looked after me while Brad worked. She would drive me around to appointments and to the shops to get groceries and so forth. Some nights I would wake up and feel restless and if it wasn't too late I'd call Mum for company as she is quite the night owl and is often up till all hours. We went to so many late night movies and watched lots of DVDs and sometimes I'd sleep over at her house if I got drowsy during the movie! The next day when I'd see Brad again he'd joke how great it was to have some room in the bed without "the two of you" in it taking up all the room. And then he'd kiss my belly and say he was just joking and that he had missed us.
Some days I think back to these magical moments and remember the baby I lost and feel sad that I never got to live through all that for a second time. Then I remember how privellaged and blessed I am to have lived through it once. Every time I pick up my little man and he "hugs" me by holding onto me and snuggling into my shoulder grinning, everytime I tickle his armpit and hear his little laugh, I am so thankful. Thankyou so much Lord for making me a mother. I know I could have been a mother of two, but right now I'm a mother of one....and you know what? That's pretty damn great! :)
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